It is 4 AM and I am in line outside of the temp labor location downtown. They are lining up already catching a smoke thinking about what they need to do to get work today. The faces all have a different story. We are waiting for the location to open standing in the darkness. At 6AM we move inside the building and wait for our name to be called. A work safety tape plays an endless loop of background noise for us. I had heard Americans were lazy and we would rather be on unemployment. Really?! Someone forgot to tell these forty people that story. As time rolls it is 7 AM before the first assignments are given out. Then 730 rolls along. The longer we go waiting a quiet desperation of resignation fills the room.
Finally my name is called. I jump up quickly like I've won the lottery. "You are going to do tires today" the dispatcher says. This is a four hour job at a tire warehouse unloading all of the tires on a 53' tractor trailer for about $25.00 that saps all of the strength I can muster. About an hour into the job I wonder as I am breathing so heavy and the truck over 120 degrees hot...will I make it Lord? In the end soaking wet and wondering if I could do it again if I have to. Will I? Of course I will if that is what my family needs to eat tonight....That is why all of those people lined up.
Next day I am chosen for a week long assignment with some others. It is a chance to give thanks for this day, for what God has provided...work for today!
In my past I never would have ventured downtown to this part of the city, let alone work here and hang with my fellow workers...listen to their stories. So many sad stories, so much ugliness....but that is not where this ends, not for any of us. The story turns when I realize our part of the story where we messed up bad...the part I believe I am unforgiveable......this is my punishment....maybe this is punishment for all of us here?
No, I hear a small voice tell me "no." This is a consequence but not a punishment. I read again "He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." These people are all God's creations...all with stories..but not terrible stories like I first thought in my head as I listened. These are stories of courage, finding strength where there should be none, heroics. It is what Ann Voskamp would call the ugly-beautiful.
As I talk with a co-worker on the way back to get paid that afternoon and he talks to me about what he sees in me, my character. "You doin' things right when the boss aint lookin' " he says. Really? God sending me a message here and now? Why am I surprised? He has not forgotten me. I have been told a little something about my character today in the middle of this tough situation...this yuck....I have been seen and reminded a glimpse of what I am, who I am and who I am becoming. Why is it I am not witnessing about Christ..why am I not openly encouraging others here like this man?
Sometimes God uses the ugly things in all of our lives and cooks up a new recipe with it. It is not always what we say, what we plan and contrive to do as a witness for Him. His recipe calls for a dash of hard work, a pinch of pain, a sampling of remorse, an embrace of grace and a heaping helping of thankfulness. It all equals a finished recipe we could never have pictured and never would have chosen. It also plays right into the journey of becoming who He always intended and when I realize that...I am even more thankful. Being thankful for what He has provided each day makes me feel different inside.
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