Yesterday was a crazy day...who knew it would lead to a rain dance?
I had a breakthrough this past week. I had been working through some issues and forgiveness of a close brother..in fact it was my brother. This brother is someone I looked up to and loved spending time with...we worked together and laughed together, sometimes cried together.
I wronged my brother.
Not just once.
Over a period of time, many times over. I tried to justify it in many ways that it was ok because after all I was being taken advantage of, or I was owed much more for my diligence, loyalty...fill in the blank....Whatever my version of the story and reality.....it gave me no peace.
Then the light shone in on this dark dark secret.
The light has no interest in story...the light doesn't care about reasoning, motives, ambition or intended things...the light is pure and knows only light.
I made a call and wanted to share with my brother that I no longer carried any of that...I missed him..that I wanted to forgive and hopefully be forgiven...I knew if I could share my forgiveness in attitude that it would free me. Forgiveness is like that.
In the book The Shack by William Young there is a dialogue between God and Mac the main character that undergoes change throughout the story. "I want you to forgive" God says. "Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver...to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly. Can anyone else know your pain you carry from all of this? In releasing that you release from the other person a burden that they carry whether they choose to or not. When you forgive another you love him well."
Mac replied..."I can't be honest with that and love them back." Not today you can't said God. Forgiveness does not require you to pretend that circumstances never happened. How can you forget? You can love in the face of it. His change allows for that. Forgiveness does not require you to trust the one you forgive. But should they confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart and begin to build a trust bridge of reconciliation."
God, I think I understand but it seems if I forgive then this guy gets off free. Mac, Forgiveness does not excuse anything. The last thing this guy is--is free. As for justice...that is my role. I will handle that.
This is a long exert and a beautiful picture of how we humans have anger and emotions but God still wants forgiveness...and as we do it over and over it is ourselves who change until the point it is natural and true and God can be handed back the reigns of control of justice.
I was so happy to see my brother as the sun streamed in on us and we made some small talk. Bottom line was that the forgiveness was there for the asking...as soon as I put all my issues down....and just gave it...it was given back a thousand fold. "The debt is forgiven. All I want is the relationship."
I asked God for a few small things before this meeting...I got what only He could have planned all along....
As I shared with my Son what I had given up and what I received in return....he began shaking, he was amazed and overwhelmed with happiness. I was at work last night but I heard the stories today about my Son's great joy of the reconciliation and restoration.....He grabbed his two sisters and told them "we are going out in the rain...you can use my sweatshirt if you want...don't worry...it's just like a shower. Rain is just another sign of how great God's power is..." They all went out into the rain and ran around the yard...ran around the neighborhood with abandon Joy.
"This is a CELEBRATION rain dance" he said.
They played together last night...shared talks about the past three years events, their hopes and dreams....played flashlight tag, cared for each other....PURE JOY.
Forgiveness is a cleansing shower....leave it to kids to point out the obvious.
