Speak the 10% (SpeakThe10Percent)

What is the 10% that goes unsaid?  What do I mean?

Well to know what it is-- it's probably easier to start with what it is not...that's what we usually come across in life.

The 90% we experience every day is normal every day life..coming, going, working, coming home, hanging out at home, going to church, the grocery store, working out...it's all of the activities we do, the hats we wear to do them....and the substance=not so much.

The 90%--it's comfortable, it doesn't rock the boat, it maintains the status quot....it's not challenging, but then again nobody gets hurt.  The 90% just feels good so just turn it down a notch and don't get too worked up. It doesn't insult anyone or step on their beliefs. It just sits down after work and turns on the tube and zones out nicely.

It makes me want to jump up and scream....

You see, nobody wants the other 10% and you know what, nobody wants to step up and give it anyways.  To go to the 10% requires a lot from a person...to really desire to go there requires much....

Courage--yes it takes courage to speak the 10% nobody speaks. If it were easy; everybody would be doing it.

Listening and empathy--In order to speak that 10% it requires a lot of listening to others, not planning what we will say next. Seek first to understand, then to be understood as the parable says. Invest the pre-time with your heart.

Patience--There is a skill to knowing when. It's all about timing--giving it when needed--not too soon, not too late.

What is an example of speaking into that 10%?  How about...

Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman" where he listens carefully, he knows Charlie well by the time he speaks up to represent him. He listens to Charlie's story and plight. He has patience to listen at first at the trial until he can't take it any more.  And then what?  The 10% comes out..

Powerfully

He tells everyone what he sees and paints the picture.  He speaks the truth that otherwise would have gone unsaid. He stands up for someone because he sees character.

That's a truth about the 10% I've come to know...if we don't step up at certain moments then those moments will pass and our voice will not be heard.

What happens with that 10%...why is it worthwhile???

All of the growing, challenges in life are in that 10%
All statements that challenge us to our core lie there in the 10%.
The inner growth--it's in the 10%...
The uncomfortable--it's in there...
The out of your element...it's in there
The unrehearsed awkwardness...it's in there
The opportunity to ruin a friendship...it's in there
The opportunity to knock down walls...it's in there
The chance to make a fool of yourself...it's in there
The chance to create a defining moment--it's in there
The push to encourage and inspire--it's in there...

It's a great risk for an opportunity of great reward

Anyone can live in the 90%....

It takes someone to be bold, loving and just a bit crazy to cross over to the 10%

I used to think of the 10% as a weapon, a special sword to be wielded skillfully...not so

It is a weapon when wielded in the wrong way without patience and timing--period.

In the right hands -- at the right time...it is more like a surgeon with a knife carefully doing an implant operation or a surgery----realness, encouragement, enlightenment, joy, wonder, hope....or carefully attempting to help carve something for removal. Triage for someone we love and care about.

Everything worthwhile in life happens in that 10%---so why do we all--myself included avoid it?!

To quote Pacino from the movie--"Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew. But I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard."

Carving out the time, empathy and quality space to do this is hard. And so moments come and pass because we are unwilling to step into that moment and give what we are called to give of ourselves. Here's the bottom line--the 10% changes the world.

It is time to live in that 10%---it's where everything good for me has ever happened...it is why we are given voices to speak into each other's lives...to offer words of hope, love, encouragement...and yes to challenge each other too.  Without someone being willing to do that for me, I'd be long gone from this world.

Life and being a believer are not about being a bunch of really nice guys...and boring everyone to death is not the substance of the 10%.

Challenging each other and finding a way to use your voice...encouraging and inspiring...that is the 10% never said. 

It's kind of like driving a Ferrari while blind...big risk, big reward----hooooooah

...the 10% changes the world...

Modern Day Knight

I watched a scene unfold at the grocery store as a child about 3 or 4 years old threw a tantrum.  After quieting down a bit, he then looked around strategically surveying the store and threw another fit, totally flustered the poor mother and then spit on the feet of the grocery bagger on his way out while tucked under the mothers arm sideways.

It reminded me of a few things…where is our intentionality of teaching a code of conduct like the old days of the knights? Where is society headed with the messages we want boys to learn and the conduct they will choose to live by.

Steps to Knighthood - The Page
At the tender age of just seven years a young boy would be sent to commence his education at the home or castle of a noble. His role would be as a page, the third step towards becoming a knight. A page was also referred to as a 'varlet' meaning 'little vassal'. It was the duty of a Page to wait at table, care for the Lord's clothes and assist them in dressing. The page was also expected to acts as servants to the ladies of the court or castle her served in. The Page was provided with a uniform of the colors and livery of the Lord. There were many pages, the number depending on the wealth of the noble. There was a 'pecking order' amongst the pages which was dependent on age. The ages of the pages would range from seven years old up to fourteen years old when they would take the next step to becoming a knight by serving in the position of a Squire. The young page would receive an education being taught religion, manners, riding, hunting, hawking and strategic games such as backgammon and chess. A Page would soon start to acquire the skills required of a Knight by practicing the skills of tilting a lance and watching the prowess and training of their seniors. The use of the lance would be practiced together with the skills of horsemanship. A target was erected and the Page would mount a wooden 'horse' on wheels holding a lance. The wooden horse would be pulled along by two other pages towards the target and the page would aim the lance. Sword play was practiced using wooden swords and shields. Fighting on piggyback introduced the young knights to the balance and skills required in mounted combat. The page would attend their superiors at Tournaments which were always seen as great occasions in the life of pages from the Middle Ages.

Steps to Knighthood - The Squire
The Medieval Squire was a servant to a knight during the Middle Ages. This was Step 4 of becoming a Knight. The role to a squire was one of the most important steps to Knighthood and started when a page reached the age of fourteen years old. The duties of a Squire were to learn about Chivalry, the rules of Heraldry, horsemanship and practice the use of weapons and the skills required of a Knight. It was also their duty to enter into the social life of the castle and learn courtly etiquette, jousting, music and dancing. The Squire served in this role for seven years and became a Knight at the age of twenty-one. Sometimes knighthood was conferred on a squire at an earlier age as the reward for bravery on the battlefield. In time of war Squires accompanied Knights on the battlefield, leading and tending the horses and dressing them in the Medieval Knights Armor. They came under fire from arrows and many squires were killed doing their duty.


Steps to Knighthood - The Knight
After many long years of training and learning the skills of combat and chivalry required of a Knight during the Middle Ages the steps to Knighthood were completed and symbolized in the order of Knighthood ceremony. The culmination of the ceremony was when a knight was dubbed and the words "Arise, Sir Knight" were uttered. This final part of the ceremony would have been knighted by a local knight, or if they were very lucky, by a greater noble or even the king. The ceremony marked the final steps to knighthood made by a Medieval Squire.
They would swear an oath to use a code of conduct—values that became a part of who they were…

I remember reading about such things and jotting down on a dinner napkin what those things would be to my family
Faith
Honor
Integrity
Help
Prayer
Determination
Well it’s been many years and some of what those values should be has changed.  But the need to give the message from Father to Son intentionally remains.

 Why is it so important?

Most of the ills we have in society today are due to boys not receiving the right messages from older, wiser men passing on a code of conduct and a vision larger than their next girlfriend conquest or getting high. Men need a code of conduct to live by and a kingdom larger than themselves to serve.

I get very revved up about this topic because it is my passion to make certain at some point in their lives men hear and answer the questions they need to answer.
Things go terribly wrong when questions are never answered or they seek these answers from women, drugs, money and any other method that seems right at first but is not getting right to the heart of the issue.

Only an initiated man can answer another man’s questions…
Do I have what it takes?
Am I brave?
What is the larger kingdom to serve?
What is the code of conduct?

In a few short weeks I will finally be part of a ceremony that will initiate my son.  No hazing here…this is a spiritual reflection, physical courage, and mental challenge.  It must employ all 3 elements for that is how real life approaches us, we need all three elements in our toolbox.

My messages now are a little different than before but what is important is declaring him ready to pursue his journey now as a man.  My message is I am intentional in passing my messages on to him, my own code of conduct as a modern day knight. It is hard enough to be intentional without my own failures…but failures do not disqualify me from giving the messages, in fact, they display God’s strength where my own brokenness is revealed.

I was a little sad to see a sword at my nephew’s home one night standing next to his fireplace because in my head I realized there was an initiation ceremony that I had missed. Then I had a better thought…the place of beginning to think about these initiations was my idea I openly shared with family. 

That sword was a symbol of my own legacy.



It is also a reminder it is not how we start…(my intentions were good)
..but how we finish that determine our ultimate legacy…