the Hezekiah Challenge

All good stories have a conflict--a challenge, a battle to fight or a journey to go on...Back in the book of Isaiah there is a strange and unique story regarding King Hezekiah.


The king receives a letter from his nemesis...a neighboring monarch that is ruthless and cruel...he outlines everything he plans on doing to the king and the people of Israel. You might believe that King Hezekiah tore his clothes, put ashes on his head...he didn't....but he did one thing...he put the letter scrolled out on the altar in the temple in front of the Lord.  He gave it over to the only one who could save him.

Sometimes when we have other alternative options it's much easier to count on ourselves.

It's easier when we are dire and desperate to reach out to the only one who can save us.

One other thing I know to be true....when I'm afraid that God might not really be there or worse--that he is silent or indifferent...it's easier for me not to ask for anything--that way my idea that he is there and is all powerful stays in tact.  If I ask for something and he is silent or he might not be there--or worse--that I am alone and abandoned becomes more than I can bare. Better that he is all powerful God and I could call on him at any time...if I wish to.

Fast forward to my dilemma...My son wants to go to college.  He has a partial scholarship and has been working hard to get the rest together ASAP.  It's a race against time that we are losing and hope is eroding quickly.

This past spring I clearly heard a few words from God while driving to work.  "I am going before him--I am going before Grant."Now I am not in the habit of hearing words every day...in fact rarely have I heard anything so clearly.

In the moment I felt great...God is going before my son...what more could I ever want to hear?  The only problem was what does that exactly mean?  With things not really falling into place I began to ask God "what did that statement mean?"  I told my son about it who didn't share my enthusiasm and looked a bit more skeptical.

I heard one more word...."wait."

Time was running out...so I pulled a Hezekiah.  I wasn't sure if God wanted Grant to go to college at UT or MTSU or community college or something even more different and radical.  I simply couldn't sleep, got up and read that story in the book of Isaiah and prayed to God for direction...I left the story of Hezekiah open on the computer table along with a note with the dollar amount Grant is short for qualifying with his finances. It wasn't as dire as someone attacking my kingdom--but I had shared the words I heard with my son and he needed to know that God does show up on our behalf...his words are to be counted on.

2 days passed...48 long hours.

You know what I'm talking about...the kind of quiet long hours that make you wonder what is going on behind the scenes and how will I know what God's will and intentions are?

In actuality--this isn't very long....then I received my answer...

I am happy to tell you that there is an opportunity for him to have the exact amount needed and it's quite unbelievable..an opportunity to work hard and get what he needs.  I can't share any more details because I need to protect the participants in the story.

I just want to say...we serve an incredible God.

He CAN and STILL DOES do what he wants to show his power and glory because he can.

If it meant no to college plans I wonder how my feelings would really be towards God...I would love to say I'd be all in and good, but I would be confused and trying to understand. I'm trying to be honest and real.

This was a prayer of a father pleading with God to make himself known in Grant's relationship to give them a history together for future struggles in his own story...and understanding that He does show up in the 11th hour at times....and He is amazing. I want him to know he can lay out the challenges in front of God -- and know he is heard.

Oh and what ever happened with King Hezekiah?  His enemy gathered his army together as a formidable force...and strangely all of the men were killed in the middle of the night inexplicably destroyed the army of 185,000 without even a fight....challenge answered.

It's All Up To Me Now.....

 We were talking about how to help my son with his college costs--and how in the world I could offer anything financially....I saw the look in my son's eyes...the face, the fear, the posture....it took me back, back to a time when I realized it was all up to me.

 We rarely spoke of money things in our house growing up.  With 8 kids and additional foster children and only one bread winner...you just didn't want to rock the boat.   Add that Dad was working a second job a few nights each week and was tired...there just wasn't anything in my DNA that knew how to even ask about college money and choices...there was no choice.  My Dad's words to me? "it's all up to you now."

I set out working the only place I could get my foot in the door...fast food.

 I worked many hours at night while attending community college during the day.  It was a good college for the money and had credible professors teaching.  It was a long road through those first two years...it was a lonely road.  Almost all of my friends that began attending there had dropped out to stay home and drink and watch cable TV and the new ESPN channel to fill their days (yes-that dates it about right cable was still just beginning).  To stay engaged and give my best at school and then work my tail off schlepping burgers and cleaning grills and hoods and filters by night, mopping and scrubbing floors and changing out fryers regularly....it was challenging...but while I was in the middle of it all it never occurred to me that I might not make it...or I might not get to my goal of graduating college and finding a management job.

I worked about 50 hours a week on top of my full course load for those two years.  I was focused.

 One thing that I can look back with perspective and certainty and know about what happens when that "switch is flipped" and I decide it's all up to me....My emotions disconnect...so I journeyed without my heart. I would gain all of my goals but once I got there I would suddenly look around...like a man trying to gain focus and clarity after a long sleep.  I realized there was no one to share in my joy of that goal being attained.  What a strange and hollow victory...here I was the first of my family to graduate with my degree....what I would have given for some camaraderie and friends to cheer me on...ones for me to speak to and encourage.

 "I must just need a larger goal" I thought....so on to Messiah College to complete my Bachelor degree.  But when I got to the goal, again, I looked around and felt empty.

Softball championships--sports...no?
 Business successes...no? What is wrong here?

This was a pattern that repeated many times for me because "flipping that switch" that put me into focus mode was something that served me well.  If I wasn't successful in some measure with it I wouldn't keep turning back to it.

Yes, it served me well for many goals and just surviving in a chaotic early home life.

The problem is in the initial statement "it's all up to me now...."

Truly, it's not the whole truth.

I have to be a little careful how I say this...in christian circles there is a feeling and belief and statements made about "waiting on the Lord or waiting on God." I observed this at a young age and wrote that group of people off as lazy, making excuses for skipping hard work and probably a few more messages that are along that same thinking.

I have never been good at this waiting thing...

I still believe that many Christians use this as a crutch or excuse to not do the hard work they can do--as doing their part.

The REAL truth is that much of life IS hard and God does want us to do things...no--not everything and certainly not to make the journey without our hearts.

He doesn't want us to rely on ourselves...he is a relational God, and we are designed to be relational.  He puts others into our story to gain strength from seeing and hearing our stories...our struggles....

He also puts others into our stories to help us...wow, that was a foreign concept to me...but one that spoke to me deeply about how much God has actually thought about me.

How I wish I could fight the battle my Son is about to...how I wish I can convince him to make the journey WITH his whole heart.

How I want to spread the message about the things that work for us, aren't always the best things for us throughout life.....Instead of flipping the switch next time....pray, scrutinize, evaluate, share with trusted friends and then take action--but realize through good and bad, God is making the journey with you.

= it's NOT ALL up to you