The day begins...
The old warrior looks over the armor that once glittered in the sunlight...today it shimmers a little less --the overcast skies casting a grey over the homestead.
He reaches for the breastplate and straps it on wearily...stretching his arms out as he covers himself with the needed protection. His arms and shoulders ache under the pressure and strain of supporting their own weight. His helmet now on...he straps on his sword...protection from each enemy---and weapon to strike terror into the heart of his enemy...and then reaches for his shield...protection from many a foe--he begins to recount his past foes...the battles he and the shield have shared...each foe different -- some valiant...yet no match for his speed, skill, elusiveness, will to survive...and something yet unnamed...
The energy begins to course through his veins...the power returns to his fists, his heart pounding and pumping courage to all parts of his body....
This day feels different though...the armor feels more like a weight as he grapples with the thought of another battle....self doubt begins to creep into his thoughts. He steps out into the arena of life...already waiting to face him directly ...a shadowy knight of great stature and strength...one who has tormented his daughter...taunting him...as he feels the familiar helpless feeling of a foe that cannot be slain but continues to inflict damage to his daughter. He seems unstoppable and not even in a place that can be struck or slain...simply a foe to engage each day...and hope for the best...or renewed strength to battle and bring the fight to him. He fights on...striking and striking at him...yet never solidly connecting...
To his left another foe...A green knight with the shield symbol shows as "$"...another familiar foe who frequently shows up to capitalize on his fears...providing adequately...having enough for his family...yes--this feels very familiar. When things seem good this foe often rears his ugly head to steal joy and rob strength...he begins to engage this foe--battling powerful thoughts swinging away pounding on his armor and shield without end...
But wait...a third foe...to his right...a giant "C" on his shield....'tis the knight of Circumstances...he has attacked his other daughter...stolen her horses...and laughs as the absolute unbearable weight and daunting task of all three seems absolutely impossible. Throwing lies and other circumstances in his path--he fights to determine what is real and where to really strike to do battle with this foe.
The old warrior strikes valiantly...taking on all 3 at once. He battles hour after hour...day turns into night and back into day...sword drawn, shield catching the blows as he fights on...into the shadows, persevering and fighting on into the night yet again.
And then something that has rarely happened to the grizzled veteran...a feeling of loss of strength...his courage waning with the sunlight...he realizes for the first time that he will not win against insurmountable odds...that he will not strike his foes down...he begins to lift the sword less and grips his shield tighter holding on to protect his very life all the while the enemy laughs and taunts him louder and louder. He begins to doubt his warrior strength...What has always worked for him will not lift him to victory this time...
Feeling hemmed in from every side...and the three knights taking their turns and taunting me as they begin to strike fear into the heart of the old warrior. Then a strange thought comes to him in his grief and abandoned state...that Only in calling upon your name and giving the fight into your hands can I be saved....
He calls out to the ultimate warrior...
...he calls upon the name of the one who gave him his special fighting skills..."Lord, it's so hard for me to ask for help...but I confess...I have such need of you...I can't do this on my own or within my own power". "For so long I have fought believing I should never call on you for help--because after all--you are the gifter who gave me what I have to fight on--I should be faithful and use what you've given above all else. I am so weary of the fight...strength fading from the battle...and you are silent and I fear you've abandoned me. I don't know if I can still BELIEVE the victory will come."
The sun began to peek over the horizon...Could I be worthy of hope? I wondered in my thoughts and in my mind. Inexplainable things began to happen...the Knight of "C" was front and center now swinging his sword for damage...with a mighty strike of lighting like a warrior from the sky...he was struck and disappeared...vaporized...gone from the circumstances of today. The circumstance faded with him...and they were not able to strike him down or torment him further this day...simply gone.
"Thank you Lord...thank you oh thank you..." the old warrior repeated again and again drawing strength from what he had just seen.
The green knight stepped up his attack instantly not allowing any celebration. Again I called upon the ultimate warrior..."please...please save me." I fought and grappled...hand to hand...wrestling the mighty giant. I was slipping and unsure in my footing as the giant gained the high ground and sought to finish me off.
He swung his sword round as if to finish the final blow...but suddenly was inexplicably struck down...and vanquished.
"Lord, the battle is truly in your hands"...with humility and gentleness not known to the warrior's heart he struck his sword into the ground...and again began praying earnestly...
"Lord--you created me to fight and wage battles...with a created strength and persevering purpose...and determination that has made most foes fade and fall...yet it hasn't been until now that I realize you are the mightiest of all warriors...and in surrendering and yielding the battle into your hands--this is the hardest thing you've ever asked me to do...and to trust you completely for the fight..."
After this realization...he opened his eyes and looked upon the remaining foe...the one prayer as yet unanswered...the healing of his daughter's heart and mind...tormented by the final foe. "Lord--as yet there is 1 unanswered prayer and warrior I face--locked in combat daily--his strength set stedfast against my family...not willing to be out of the shadows to fight directly...but always casting blows and retreating back into the shadows of life. Lord--please give healing and victory here."
He turned to face the familiar imposing foe yet again...hoping in his heart for the victory...but feeling overwhelmed that it was too much to hope for...He grabbed his sword...picked up his shield.....wiped the sweat from his brow...the saltiness stinging his eyes as he squinted to see with clarity. He felt an icy wind blowing...he set his posture against and into that icy wind...yet again he needed to trust...yet all in the kingdom...all the wise counselors advised him...this was a battle he would not win..."nobody in the kingdom can defeat this foe" they told him.
The "unnamed"--would it show up yet again? Would HE powerfully go before the old warrior one last time to inexplicably defeat this foe? That was the unnamed powerful thing that had always occurred in the past--which now he could name.
Perhaps the victory in life comes from trusting and believing when we are truly vulnerable and powerless in our own strength.
..the battle lines are drawn...The ending is yet to be written.
