Where are you God?
My question was far from an original in any way. Many people cry out this question every day...in anger...in desperation....in hopes of finding mercy...relief...answers.
Day after day the struggle of life can be more than one can take...but this is my blog so let's make it more specific.
I was drowning in a sea of desperation...an ocean of sadness...no light on the horizon of coming help.
Where are you God?
My family needs me home, I am tired to the bone of every fiber of my being.....
Where are you God?
God was there...
the woman who cuts my hair who paid for my hair cut and then reduced my rate while I was in this struggle...God was in it
the people who helped me get healthcare for my children.....God was there
the people at work who gave us a money tree for Christmas two years ago that allowed us to have a Christmas.....God was embracing us
The boss who gave us her employee turkey to feed us that holiday...God was happy
The people who surrounded us and gave us food/gas cards...God was in it
The worker at Publix who gave us gifts even while she was in the midst of her own struggles....God taught me
The secret gifts given..God saw them all
The family who didn't judge but listened patiently and gave financially....God loved it
My family who listened and gave compassion, financial assistance.....God cherished those moments
The times I cried in the dark full of sadness but trying to be there for my family...God cried with me
The beauty and majesty of Haileigh riding at saddle up...the grit and determination after being thrown...the courage to get up again...God was teaching me
The things my son Grant has said to me that have gotten me through a few more days...God was teaching me it's not what we say intentionally but what our actions speak in the heat of the struggle...that's what people remember about us
The grace and mercy my wife Michelle has shown me throughout this struggle....the raw emotion, realness, and grace.....God was smiling
the times I was so angry but I still talked and yelled at God.....he expected it and accepted my shortcomings...he still loved the relationship
the times I was dangling by a single thread of hope.....he loved me for how he designed me and had more threads lined up to see me through
Look, I first want to state I am not Job. Stop laughing my family...it wasn't all that funny. I never was a shining example of Godliness or anything of the like. I did learn about patience and how to how get through from some of his book. I have learned a great deal.....Too many lessons to put down in a blog at one time.
Today I am thankful for all of it
and....
I wouldn't change a thing
Where are you God? He is with me....everywhere...all through this journey.
