the True Atheist

I have an acquaintance..well, I guess you'd call him a friend. Let's call him Jack for this blog.  I really didn't intend to become friends...I just kept crossing paths with him.  God does that sometimes.  Of course I kept hearing that Jack was a self professed atheist.  I thought God was having me cross his path to help him.  Ha....wrong guess.

This man is intelligent, well spoken, kind, passionate about his causes, well connected in the political and local community...and well...a true friend.

I have gone through some challenging job situations the past five years.  There were times I was so low I couldn't have even spoken about the circumstances with anyone.  Jack would still call me to see how I was...ask me what my job strategy was, blurt out a string of endless connections he was calling on my behalf, calling local department stores and talking to managers about me, and even just telling me to meet him and eat something together....I don't know how to put all of the things he did for me into words. When I was even slow to call back, he never took it personally...just kept pursuing.   At a time I was afraid to go out because the whole world was busy as usual moving faster and faster.  (To all of you who helped me and my family during that/this time period please do not be offended...we would not have survived without you and your stories and friendship are important to me as well!).  I was just amazed that someone who I felt barely knew me was so willing to reach out and help and would not take no for an answer.

I found myself looking at Jack and realizing his life and attitude were embodying everything I wanted to emulate as a christian.  He didn't ask..he just did.  He never said "if you need anything call me"...he seemed to know I wouldn't call because things were very desperate and I still wasn't calling anyone.  He encouraged me verbally at different times.  His mind was working a few steps ahead of mine but he wasn't holding that over me.  I started to realize his life and attitude were more what I would characterize as "christian" than mine was.  It was a selfless and simplistic approach.  Jack was certain of what he believed.  I thought I knew what I believed but here I was in the middle of chaos and not trusting God.  I have problems trusting someone to come through for me and not feeling forgotten.  Because of this intense fear, I do not wait for God to come through.  I have found ways to "short circuit" His plan many times and I am certain I have also short circuited suffering and blessings alike.  Without truly trusting God I realize I am the true atheist.

We are far from being on the other side of this mountain in our lives because really big challenges and events are like that, they go on for what seems like forever.  I really appreciate what Jack has meant to me personally...a phone call every now and then can be so big.

Why write about this now?  Jack left me a message this past week... sounded like we talk every day "hey I have a few other people I'd like you to meet, had a few other ideas...just want to see how you are and where you are at."  Jack once told me something that I have held onto as hope.  He said "you just need a small opportunity to show what you can do and I really believe you will really shine."

I really believed when I first met Jack a few years back and found out he was an atheist that God might use me to lead him to the light.  What I found is that God reflects his light from many places.  It's a dark world out there and God will use who he wants to spread that light.......it all comes from one source...HIM

...how ironic the message Jack is spreading...