Mr Fair

I used to go to a Christian version of Boy Scouts known as Brigade.  Every Monday night I faithfully went...

When I was close to 16 years old a man took over...his haircut was short and always looked freshly cut.  His eyes were narrow and very direct.  He looked like ex-military of some sort.

Mr. Fair was a very disciplined man indeed...there was no mincing words...direct, disciplined and contrived I decided in my mind.

On a campout weekend we were doing the foolish fun things that a 16 year old does with free time--create havoc.  We were up until all hours telling stories...running around the camp, waking the leaders up over and over again unmercifully...turning over the outhouse while someone was in it....and one of my group had placed a can of baked beans in the coals of the fire...I looked down--realized the can was glowing red and starting asking if they had punched a hole in it?  It was too late--the can of beans exploded and the shrapnel of the can flew like a missile into my neck... it missed the jugular by about an inch...Mr. Fair judged it was my can of beans and I was a fool as he drove me to the hospital and later home. In truth--I just realized it was there and wanted to warn everyone to get away...I don't even eat beans.

One day a week later our Jr. leader had a falling out--a shouting match in front of all of us against Mr. Fair.  This Jr. leader was a friend of mine...but he hated authority....well--he had good reasons for it...but it made no difference--any authority was something to fight against in his mind. After the yelling and falling out from the war that we saw...we all wondered--now what?

Mr. Fair examined the landscape--scrutinizing the remaining battlefield and army before him.  Mr. Fair pulled me aside and asked me to talk with him outside.  Strange--I wonder what this is about?  Mr. Fair had never spoken to me separately from the other brigade members...I didn't think he liked me very much--let along know who I am by name.

Mr. Fair started to tell me that I had the makings of a leader...that people will follow me.  I remember it as being the first time someone had noticed me and tried to mentor me in some way to step into the space shaped for me...I told him I would take the mantle--still unsure but a little excited about bringing together what was remaining.

Later that evening our Jr. leader returned and apologies were made...things were made right--right in front of us. 

Of course this is great--but it begs the question--where does this leave me now that I had been promoted to the same role formally?

Mr. Fair leaned into the issue almost sensing my inner question...."Glenn will remain in this new role as well...we now have two leaders--two Lieutenants."

That night I grew a few inches taller in stature and confidence...I felt as though I had been seen and noticed for being myself. It was a feeling I would appreciate and only feel a few more times in the coming years.

A few years after my Brigade years were over I saw Mr. Fair banging away on stage on Sunday morning playing the Tympani--with force and preciseness...but also with a musical freedom I hadn't pictured him with.  He was somehow different than the man I had previously judged. There was an even more human side to him expressing himself through music--which I never would have imagined.

Many more years later I was selling all of my belongings at a yard sale in preparation of moving to Franklin, TN.  Who drove up to our house in Dublin?  That's right...it was Mr. Fair.  He sized up my John Deere riding mower and handed me the cash--I think it was for one of his children.  We made small talk--but there was kindness in his eyes and banter that was different from what I had pictured earlier...maybe it was because now we were talking man to man--but he seemed to be a good man I thought.

A year later--that old Jr. leader he had had words with many years before wound up in trouble with the law and in jail.  Many people ran the other way from my old friend because of what he had done and the details that came out.  I spoke to this man this year and he was abandoned by everyone--everyone except one man that came to visit him--that's right...it was Mr. Fair--he was still fathering, mentoring and had more to teach and give to this man.

I was wrong about Mr. Fair with my early judgements...he was a strong man who stood by others in the fiercest storms of life...he lived not by how myself or others had defined him...but how he walked with God and was willing to go places nobody wanted to go...Working with teenage boys...getting in the middle of problems--he was willing to engage--and stay engaged in the fight...and years later he was still mentoring some of us in a way I didn't understand many years before.

Mr. Fair...Thank you.