My Favorite Word----"Re...."
some people have a favorite word...mine is a favorite prefix because it goes with amazing thoughts...
Redeem
Restore
Renew
Rebuild
Recreate
Relate
Remake
Redo
Resume
Remade
Refresh
Reconcile
Reconnect
Replay
Redemption
Reclaim
Reform
Recommit
Remember
Reclaim
Reaffirm
Realign
Reallocate
Reanchor
Rearrange
So many words that bring good thoughts to mind begin with Re---....
See one I missed? Please send a reply and post it...share it with everyone. Take the time to do it for someone who might need that word in their life today.
Thanks
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
The Broken Mower
Some things used to drive me crazy....well they still can at times. Why is it that appliances and things always break at the worst times?
I have a dishwasher down.....washer at times...and now the lawnmower!
The lawnmower...really????!
In my culdesac all but two of us have a lawn service so I need my lawnmower to work.
The broken mower has become a symbol that keeps me aligned. I know you might be scratching your head, but God knows how we are all wired. He knows I love to be self sufficient and have everything planned out via my strength...my resources...my plan...my my Oh my.
By taking away the mower God once again forced me to relate to others and humbly ask for what I need. It is a small snapshot of where he has taken me the past bit of my journey, always reminding me and nudging me to depend on him more and more.
When I rely on others and not just myself, it allows for relationship and the story to expand further than my little kingdom.
My one neighbor, Lee is a handy man and has a work ethic even I could respect if not envy. After I asked him to borrow the mower the first time he now places it fully gassed up outside his fence and in my yard waiting for me. I gas it up after I'm done (least I can do) and we both get a laugh out of taking care of that for each other.
Last Monday I came home after a very stressful week of work and realized my whole front and side yard were mowed completely and trimmed. I went over late at night to thank Lee who was sort of embarrassed and played it off that actually leaving his job early for one night gave him a chance to cut it for me so he could clear his head and enjoy the outdoors for once.
One of the coolest things about my lack of a mower is how I think it might play into Lee's story and where it is headed. Without my misfortune, other blessings don't come. In fact they lay unrealized.
Looking at Lee's ear to ear grin I realized he was blessed by doing it and I was blessed by his act of service and kindness. More than the service was feeling connected to neighbors like in the old days before we all became self sufficient and quarantined.
Hate to be cliche but it fits...again God uses the broken
I have a dishwasher down.....washer at times...and now the lawnmower!
The lawnmower...really????!
In my culdesac all but two of us have a lawn service so I need my lawnmower to work.
The broken mower has become a symbol that keeps me aligned. I know you might be scratching your head, but God knows how we are all wired. He knows I love to be self sufficient and have everything planned out via my strength...my resources...my plan...my my Oh my.
By taking away the mower God once again forced me to relate to others and humbly ask for what I need. It is a small snapshot of where he has taken me the past bit of my journey, always reminding me and nudging me to depend on him more and more.
When I rely on others and not just myself, it allows for relationship and the story to expand further than my little kingdom.
My one neighbor, Lee is a handy man and has a work ethic even I could respect if not envy. After I asked him to borrow the mower the first time he now places it fully gassed up outside his fence and in my yard waiting for me. I gas it up after I'm done (least I can do) and we both get a laugh out of taking care of that for each other.
Last Monday I came home after a very stressful week of work and realized my whole front and side yard were mowed completely and trimmed. I went over late at night to thank Lee who was sort of embarrassed and played it off that actually leaving his job early for one night gave him a chance to cut it for me so he could clear his head and enjoy the outdoors for once.
One of the coolest things about my lack of a mower is how I think it might play into Lee's story and where it is headed. Without my misfortune, other blessings don't come. In fact they lay unrealized.
Looking at Lee's ear to ear grin I realized he was blessed by doing it and I was blessed by his act of service and kindness. More than the service was feeling connected to neighbors like in the old days before we all became self sufficient and quarantined.
Hate to be cliche but it fits...again God uses the broken
Friday, April 27, 2012
the Rain Dance
Yesterday was a crazy day...who knew it would lead to a rain dance?
I had a breakthrough this past week. I had been working through some issues and forgiveness of a close brother..in fact it was my brother. This brother is someone I looked up to and loved spending time with...we worked together and laughed together, sometimes cried together.
I wronged my brother.
Not just once.
Over a period of time, many times over. I tried to justify it in many ways that it was ok because after all I was being taken advantage of, or I was owed much more for my diligence, loyalty...fill in the blank....Whatever my version of the story and reality.....it gave me no peace.
Then the light shone in on this dark dark secret.
The light has no interest in story...the light doesn't care about reasoning, motives, ambition or intended things...the light is pure and knows only light.
I made a call and wanted to share with my brother that I no longer carried any of that...I missed him..that I wanted to forgive and hopefully be forgiven...I knew if I could share my forgiveness in attitude that it would free me. Forgiveness is like that.
In the book The Shack by William Young there is a dialogue between God and Mac the main character that undergoes change throughout the story. "I want you to forgive" God says. "Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver...to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly. Can anyone else know your pain you carry from all of this? In releasing that you release from the other person a burden that they carry whether they choose to or not. When you forgive another you love him well."
Mac replied..."I can't be honest with that and love them back." Not today you can't said God. Forgiveness does not require you to pretend that circumstances never happened. How can you forget? You can love in the face of it. His change allows for that. Forgiveness does not require you to trust the one you forgive. But should they confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart and begin to build a trust bridge of reconciliation."
God, I think I understand but it seems if I forgive then this guy gets off free. Mac, Forgiveness does not excuse anything. The last thing this guy is--is free. As for justice...that is my role. I will handle that.
This is a long exert and a beautiful picture of how we humans have anger and emotions but God still wants forgiveness...and as we do it over and over it is ourselves who change until the point it is natural and true and God can be handed back the reigns of control of justice.
I was so happy to see my brother as the sun streamed in on us and we made some small talk. Bottom line was that the forgiveness was there for the asking...as soon as I put all my issues down....and just gave it...it was given back a thousand fold. "The debt is forgiven. All I want is the relationship."
I asked God for a few small things before this meeting...I got what only He could have planned all along....
As I shared with my Son what I had given up and what I received in return....he began shaking, he was amazed and overwhelmed with happiness. I was at work last night but I heard the stories today about my Son's great joy of the reconciliation and restoration.....He grabbed his two sisters and told them "we are going out in the rain...you can use my sweatshirt if you want...don't worry...it's just like a shower. Rain is just another sign of how great God's power is..." They all went out into the rain and ran around the yard...ran around the neighborhood with abandon Joy.
"This is a CELEBRATION rain dance" he said.
They played together last night...shared talks about the past three years events, their hopes and dreams....played flashlight tag, cared for each other....PURE JOY.
Forgiveness is a cleansing shower....leave it to kids to point out the obvious.
I had a breakthrough this past week. I had been working through some issues and forgiveness of a close brother..in fact it was my brother. This brother is someone I looked up to and loved spending time with...we worked together and laughed together, sometimes cried together.
I wronged my brother.
Not just once.
Over a period of time, many times over. I tried to justify it in many ways that it was ok because after all I was being taken advantage of, or I was owed much more for my diligence, loyalty...fill in the blank....Whatever my version of the story and reality.....it gave me no peace.
Then the light shone in on this dark dark secret.
The light has no interest in story...the light doesn't care about reasoning, motives, ambition or intended things...the light is pure and knows only light.
I made a call and wanted to share with my brother that I no longer carried any of that...I missed him..that I wanted to forgive and hopefully be forgiven...I knew if I could share my forgiveness in attitude that it would free me. Forgiveness is like that.
In the book The Shack by William Young there is a dialogue between God and Mac the main character that undergoes change throughout the story. "I want you to forgive" God says. "Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver...to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly. Can anyone else know your pain you carry from all of this? In releasing that you release from the other person a burden that they carry whether they choose to or not. When you forgive another you love him well."
Mac replied..."I can't be honest with that and love them back." Not today you can't said God. Forgiveness does not require you to pretend that circumstances never happened. How can you forget? You can love in the face of it. His change allows for that. Forgiveness does not require you to trust the one you forgive. But should they confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart and begin to build a trust bridge of reconciliation."
God, I think I understand but it seems if I forgive then this guy gets off free. Mac, Forgiveness does not excuse anything. The last thing this guy is--is free. As for justice...that is my role. I will handle that.
This is a long exert and a beautiful picture of how we humans have anger and emotions but God still wants forgiveness...and as we do it over and over it is ourselves who change until the point it is natural and true and God can be handed back the reigns of control of justice.
I was so happy to see my brother as the sun streamed in on us and we made some small talk. Bottom line was that the forgiveness was there for the asking...as soon as I put all my issues down....and just gave it...it was given back a thousand fold. "The debt is forgiven. All I want is the relationship."
I asked God for a few small things before this meeting...I got what only He could have planned all along....
As I shared with my Son what I had given up and what I received in return....he began shaking, he was amazed and overwhelmed with happiness. I was at work last night but I heard the stories today about my Son's great joy of the reconciliation and restoration.....He grabbed his two sisters and told them "we are going out in the rain...you can use my sweatshirt if you want...don't worry...it's just like a shower. Rain is just another sign of how great God's power is..." They all went out into the rain and ran around the yard...ran around the neighborhood with abandon Joy.
"This is a CELEBRATION rain dance" he said.
They played together last night...shared talks about the past three years events, their hopes and dreams....played flashlight tag, cared for each other....PURE JOY.
Forgiveness is a cleansing shower....leave it to kids to point out the obvious.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Two Christmas Dinners...Conclusion
...OK So I never finished that story. The blog was getting long and I just wasn't certain how much I wanted to share with everyone.
I have been trying to live transparent -- this seems dangerous because we have to be able to trust others with what we share.
After that day of course came Dec. 24th and I remember how nervous of a knot I was feeling in my gut as the moments marched on in time towards the inevitable Christmas Day. I had a short shift to work at Costco. When I got there Kate had an "anonymous" gift from a co-worker. She knew I was uncomfortable but told me the giver would be deeply hurt if I didn't accept it.
Michelle texted me that a few letters and packages had arrived from my sisters and brothers. They had sent gifts, gift cards and money...all saving Christmas in my mind. Then she texted that her bothers and sisters had sent a few gifts as well.....then her parents...then my Mom.....all these things coming together in a few hours.
The day continued to get stranger and more beautiful as I recall. I felt deep down God was prompting others to care for us because we couldn't do that for ourselves. I felt so helpless, yet wonderfully remembered.
The next arrival came about noon as someone left an anonymous money tree at our neighbor's home and told them not to tell who it was.....WOW again!
Shortly thereafter we received a care basket from the school district as we were nominated as a family in need for a christmas sharing project...we received cards, gift cards, and more sharing from strangers...turns out we were nominated by a caring neighbor and also from someone in our small group at church.
I arrived home to all of this just in time for a pastor from our small groups at church who had a gift for us. In reality I believe the gift was a product of outpouring of grace from my co-workers at Costco who gave the gift anonymously through the church.
I sat on the floor of my living room on my knees and cried with Michelle and just felt so overwhelmed with emotion. For months we had barely enough money to put food in the cupboard, and now God was pouring out blessing that was needed to sustain us for the weeks to come. It is the type of event that is literally burned into your memory.
It is definitely a blessed feeling to give to others and I believe much more difficult to receive. This was an incredible and yet difficult day. So many people showing grace and kindness...some believers, some not, yet sharing and caring. It redefined what caring for others looks like in a practical sense...it reminded me that when we get on the other side of our current struggles that I want to live to give...not to repay the kindness but to pay it forward and be a part of what we received.
It was such an outpouring that I cannot doubt that God can and will do what he wants to do however he wants to do it and using whoever he wants--to do his will.
When that week started I had joked that I felt like the Whos down in Whoville--the tall and the small--would gather that morning around the tree...even after the Grinch had stolen everything, they still sang and celebrated Christmas in their hearts. I figured we were going to know first hand what that feeling was.
I remember waking up Christmas morning and rejoiced in my heart for that new day, for time off with family, and for the caring God had showed to us. I thought about the Whos in Whoville and sang a song in my heart. Christmas had come...
I am very grateful for everything .... it was magical really, and yet the real memory that stands out was how close we were that Christmas and each one since. We spent the whole day together and cooked together and just hung out. Time flew by. If I had insisted on spending that time together I am certain it would have resulted in squabbling and friends drawing my kids away. The journey had revealed a new way to celebrate and it concluded with a chiminea campfire and smores.......and they never tasted so good.
I have been trying to live transparent -- this seems dangerous because we have to be able to trust others with what we share.
After that day of course came Dec. 24th and I remember how nervous of a knot I was feeling in my gut as the moments marched on in time towards the inevitable Christmas Day. I had a short shift to work at Costco. When I got there Kate had an "anonymous" gift from a co-worker. She knew I was uncomfortable but told me the giver would be deeply hurt if I didn't accept it.
Michelle texted me that a few letters and packages had arrived from my sisters and brothers. They had sent gifts, gift cards and money...all saving Christmas in my mind. Then she texted that her bothers and sisters had sent a few gifts as well.....then her parents...then my Mom.....all these things coming together in a few hours.
The day continued to get stranger and more beautiful as I recall. I felt deep down God was prompting others to care for us because we couldn't do that for ourselves. I felt so helpless, yet wonderfully remembered.
The next arrival came about noon as someone left an anonymous money tree at our neighbor's home and told them not to tell who it was.....WOW again!
Shortly thereafter we received a care basket from the school district as we were nominated as a family in need for a christmas sharing project...we received cards, gift cards, and more sharing from strangers...turns out we were nominated by a caring neighbor and also from someone in our small group at church.
I arrived home to all of this just in time for a pastor from our small groups at church who had a gift for us. In reality I believe the gift was a product of outpouring of grace from my co-workers at Costco who gave the gift anonymously through the church.
I sat on the floor of my living room on my knees and cried with Michelle and just felt so overwhelmed with emotion. For months we had barely enough money to put food in the cupboard, and now God was pouring out blessing that was needed to sustain us for the weeks to come. It is the type of event that is literally burned into your memory.
It is definitely a blessed feeling to give to others and I believe much more difficult to receive. This was an incredible and yet difficult day. So many people showing grace and kindness...some believers, some not, yet sharing and caring. It redefined what caring for others looks like in a practical sense...it reminded me that when we get on the other side of our current struggles that I want to live to give...not to repay the kindness but to pay it forward and be a part of what we received.
It was such an outpouring that I cannot doubt that God can and will do what he wants to do however he wants to do it and using whoever he wants--to do his will.
When that week started I had joked that I felt like the Whos down in Whoville--the tall and the small--would gather that morning around the tree...even after the Grinch had stolen everything, they still sang and celebrated Christmas in their hearts. I figured we were going to know first hand what that feeling was.
I remember waking up Christmas morning and rejoiced in my heart for that new day, for time off with family, and for the caring God had showed to us. I thought about the Whos in Whoville and sang a song in my heart. Christmas had come...
I am very grateful for everything .... it was magical really, and yet the real memory that stands out was how close we were that Christmas and each one since. We spent the whole day together and cooked together and just hung out. Time flew by. If I had insisted on spending that time together I am certain it would have resulted in squabbling and friends drawing my kids away. The journey had revealed a new way to celebrate and it concluded with a chiminea campfire and smores.......and they never tasted so good.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
My Dad's Greatest Joy
Strange that I write about my Dad and joy together in a sentence. Sometimes I would wish to really know him and "get him" and connect in some meaningful way. I will say to him one day that I did hear him and listen to him, and that is why this blog entry tonight.
Recently my brothers and sisters have been working diligently and together I might add trying to secure a suitable place for my Mom's care for now and the future. Mom has moments of clarity and wit, but most of the time she has gone through some paranoia and delusions.
My brothers and sisters have taken on the brunt of this reality and hardship for the past couple years. Some of them have been verbally wounded while trying to help, sometimes much more. Words wounding their hearts in different ways, carefully calculated and sharp. I know, I have experienced them before....fresh memories as if they were from yesterday.
Anyways, my family really tends to appear fractured and aloof at times, sometimes just on different paths and going in different directions. My brothers and sisters came together and worked physically and mentally together to help discuss options for Mom, get her home sold and all of the work with that moving and getting her relocated with care for her condition. What they did was not a miracle by anyone's account but I find it remarkable none the less. I don't remember many times in my life when I witnessed so many of them working together....working out the details with all personal issues aside.
How does my Dad fit into this? He has been long gone for ten years now, but I remember having a conversation with him where he clearly told me his "greatest joy in life was watching us kids take care of one another."
I can't help but know in my heart he was looking down and chuckling in his deep growl his approval to himself of watching the recent events that transpired. Knowing they all did their best to contribute in some way and take care of Mom as well as the ultimate goal....well if taking care of each other was his greatest joy in life then this moment must have been my Dad's greatest joy of all time.
Recently my brothers and sisters have been working diligently and together I might add trying to secure a suitable place for my Mom's care for now and the future. Mom has moments of clarity and wit, but most of the time she has gone through some paranoia and delusions.
My brothers and sisters have taken on the brunt of this reality and hardship for the past couple years. Some of them have been verbally wounded while trying to help, sometimes much more. Words wounding their hearts in different ways, carefully calculated and sharp. I know, I have experienced them before....fresh memories as if they were from yesterday.
Anyways, my family really tends to appear fractured and aloof at times, sometimes just on different paths and going in different directions. My brothers and sisters came together and worked physically and mentally together to help discuss options for Mom, get her home sold and all of the work with that moving and getting her relocated with care for her condition. What they did was not a miracle by anyone's account but I find it remarkable none the less. I don't remember many times in my life when I witnessed so many of them working together....working out the details with all personal issues aside.
How does my Dad fit into this? He has been long gone for ten years now, but I remember having a conversation with him where he clearly told me his "greatest joy in life was watching us kids take care of one another."
I can't help but know in my heart he was looking down and chuckling in his deep growl his approval to himself of watching the recent events that transpired. Knowing they all did their best to contribute in some way and take care of Mom as well as the ultimate goal....well if taking care of each other was his greatest joy in life then this moment must have been my Dad's greatest joy of all time.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
PUI (parking under the influence)
I take my work very seriously...I try to give great customer service, very friendly and good quality food....and though try as I might, I really haven't gotten any kind of positive feedback on my company's website to be recognized like I have desired.
Sometimes we get recognized not for our efforts but just by what happens in the journey.
I was working the overnight shift this past weekend and that means many drunk customers...some happy drunks, some goofy drunks and some angry hungry drunks. When the bars close they all come for food. It makes for interesting and crazy stories. I've even had customers who thought they were driving and swerving all the while they were not even in a car...simply crazy times.
I could see the nose of a car out the corner of my peripheral vision parked half in my drive through lane and half in the exit lane. The problem was that because the driver occupied some of each lane I couldn't serve anyone as nobody could get around him on either side. I could see that the driver's window was down so I tried yelling out to him to get him to move. There was no response. I screamed my loudest...no response.
I unlocked the doors and locked my crew safely inside and went out to investigate. I approached cautiously to the side of the car...wrote down the make, model, color and plate number. I tried talking, yelling, and literally banging on the top of the man's car repeatedly while yelling as loud as I could. This went on for about ten minutes. He was out cold...car running, with only his foot on the brake to hold him in place while he slept.
Eventually I gave up attempting to awaken him and called in the police. The moment they put on their sirens it startled him enough to wake him up which caused him to take his foot off the brakes and race across the street into McDonalds where they stopped him and put him in jail for the night to sleep it off.
I wondered who he was and how did his friends let him drive this way?...what was the story behind the story....I had no time to think about it for long because I had to get back to work.
I didn't give it much further thought until last night. My store received a complimentary e-mail on the company website yesterday. My boss called me to read it to me. It read "I want to send out my thanks to the employee who called the police on me the other night. They saved my life. I was impaired and in no condition to drive. I endangered others lives and my whole future. I am to be married in 45 days and I have my whole future in front of me...I almost threw it all away. Again, I am in no way angry at whoever made the call...they should be commended for acting quickly and properly as it probably saved my life that night. I appreciate Krystal more now than ever before."
Kind of amusing that my most distinguished moment at this job seems to be a moment I find very small and less than exceptional and seemed to have nothing to do with the job description.
Now to the point---why mention all of this? I hope this man comes to live a GREAT STORY. The story needs to be more than DUI or PUI...lives are a one shot deal and they need to be lived out boldly and intentionally.
What do I mean by that? It's what Don Miller would call a chance to change the story and live in a better story.... one with an incredible ending yet to be written.
Sometimes we get recognized not for our efforts but just by what happens in the journey.
I was working the overnight shift this past weekend and that means many drunk customers...some happy drunks, some goofy drunks and some angry hungry drunks. When the bars close they all come for food. It makes for interesting and crazy stories. I've even had customers who thought they were driving and swerving all the while they were not even in a car...simply crazy times.
I could see the nose of a car out the corner of my peripheral vision parked half in my drive through lane and half in the exit lane. The problem was that because the driver occupied some of each lane I couldn't serve anyone as nobody could get around him on either side. I could see that the driver's window was down so I tried yelling out to him to get him to move. There was no response. I screamed my loudest...no response.
I unlocked the doors and locked my crew safely inside and went out to investigate. I approached cautiously to the side of the car...wrote down the make, model, color and plate number. I tried talking, yelling, and literally banging on the top of the man's car repeatedly while yelling as loud as I could. This went on for about ten minutes. He was out cold...car running, with only his foot on the brake to hold him in place while he slept.
Eventually I gave up attempting to awaken him and called in the police. The moment they put on their sirens it startled him enough to wake him up which caused him to take his foot off the brakes and race across the street into McDonalds where they stopped him and put him in jail for the night to sleep it off.
I wondered who he was and how did his friends let him drive this way?...what was the story behind the story....I had no time to think about it for long because I had to get back to work.
I didn't give it much further thought until last night. My store received a complimentary e-mail on the company website yesterday. My boss called me to read it to me. It read "I want to send out my thanks to the employee who called the police on me the other night. They saved my life. I was impaired and in no condition to drive. I endangered others lives and my whole future. I am to be married in 45 days and I have my whole future in front of me...I almost threw it all away. Again, I am in no way angry at whoever made the call...they should be commended for acting quickly and properly as it probably saved my life that night. I appreciate Krystal more now than ever before."
Kind of amusing that my most distinguished moment at this job seems to be a moment I find very small and less than exceptional and seemed to have nothing to do with the job description.
Now to the point---why mention all of this? I hope this man comes to live a GREAT STORY. The story needs to be more than DUI or PUI...lives are a one shot deal and they need to be lived out boldly and intentionally.
What do I mean by that? It's what Don Miller would call a chance to change the story and live in a better story.... one with an incredible ending yet to be written.
My wife Michelle loves photos that have paths that twist and turn and show the infinite possible turns our lives and story can take. So many choices...so many possibilities...it's what makes life special.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Just Enough
"How are you today?" he asks me....
"Just Enough" I answer.
"hey what's up?" asks another person...
"Just Enough" is my reply.
A strange answer?...not really...you just have to be on the same wavelength to get it.
For the past year I have been working two jobs feverishly at a pace of 70 to 75 hrs per week. My wife has been working nights as a nanny to six children to make ends meet and pay off our endless obligations. Sometimes it seems crazy and chaotic and at a breakneck pace that will never cease without days off or never an end in sight.....and then.....
A break
My job finds they made an error and owe me a week of vacation and I must take it now or lose it.........
then...break back...hot water heater hose breaks, shower drains stop up and Draino won't cut it...and the kid's toilet starts leaking.....
A break....The plumbing jobs are miraculously fixed for $2.98 and $5.98 respectively....
Then break back...school still fighting over giving my daughter the special help she needs
You see a lot of my life the break backs would stop me in my tracks and get me angry to the point of giving off the remnants of that rage like little shock waves..after shocks of the quake.
I still get mad but the paradigm is everything...the original breaks are mercy and they add up as well to more than I can count.
Sometimes it feels like we are wandering in the wilderness here and that's not farfetched. As a parallel look at the Israelites...they were in the wilderness for forty years...they would have a need..voice it vociferously...whine, complain, moan, grumble.......
Then God would give them a break...an outpouring of His mercy...time and time again....
Water
Bread
Meat
real needs in the moment...
What did God give them?
Just Enough !
The mana he provided was to be gathered each day and only enough for each day. What happened? Some people tried to outsmart God and gathered extra for the following day...just in case....
When they got up the next day the extra they had gathered was spoiled...Why?
The lesson they were to learn was they could trust God in His provision for them.
How do I feel today?
Just Enough....
I can get full of fear that I am not saving up for tomorrow or that I am not paying off everything today in this moment...Fear that my body is old and will break down without medical coverage....fear I am not providing sufficiently for my family or their future....fear I am not home in their lives enough.....
or
lose the fear---I can count the mercies that have been provided and blessings that I have been given today....I am choosing to be thankful.
It is hard to trust everyday...but it is an important lesson to learn....just enough
"Just Enough" I answer.
"hey what's up?" asks another person...
"Just Enough" is my reply.
A strange answer?...not really...you just have to be on the same wavelength to get it.
For the past year I have been working two jobs feverishly at a pace of 70 to 75 hrs per week. My wife has been working nights as a nanny to six children to make ends meet and pay off our endless obligations. Sometimes it seems crazy and chaotic and at a breakneck pace that will never cease without days off or never an end in sight.....and then.....
A break
My job finds they made an error and owe me a week of vacation and I must take it now or lose it.........
then...break back...hot water heater hose breaks, shower drains stop up and Draino won't cut it...and the kid's toilet starts leaking.....
A break....The plumbing jobs are miraculously fixed for $2.98 and $5.98 respectively....
Then break back...school still fighting over giving my daughter the special help she needs
You see a lot of my life the break backs would stop me in my tracks and get me angry to the point of giving off the remnants of that rage like little shock waves..after shocks of the quake.
I still get mad but the paradigm is everything...the original breaks are mercy and they add up as well to more than I can count.
Sometimes it feels like we are wandering in the wilderness here and that's not farfetched. As a parallel look at the Israelites...they were in the wilderness for forty years...they would have a need..voice it vociferously...whine, complain, moan, grumble.......
Then God would give them a break...an outpouring of His mercy...time and time again....
Water
Bread
Meat
real needs in the moment...
What did God give them?
Just Enough !
The mana he provided was to be gathered each day and only enough for each day. What happened? Some people tried to outsmart God and gathered extra for the following day...just in case....
When they got up the next day the extra they had gathered was spoiled...Why?
The lesson they were to learn was they could trust God in His provision for them.
How do I feel today?
Just Enough....
I can get full of fear that I am not saving up for tomorrow or that I am not paying off everything today in this moment...Fear that my body is old and will break down without medical coverage....fear I am not providing sufficiently for my family or their future....fear I am not home in their lives enough.....
or
lose the fear---I can count the mercies that have been provided and blessings that I have been given today....I am choosing to be thankful.
It is hard to trust everyday...but it is an important lesson to learn....just enough
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