Or is it more?????
It's old and the color is fading...nothing in particular to make it stand out as significant. It is frayed around the edges and even thread-bare in spots.
This towel has been to Ecuador to build a school in the sun on a mountain at 15,000 ft elevation ...traveled on a boat in the center of a volcanic lake...
...been to Katrina relief in Gulfport, MS to hear stories, patch roofs of peoples homes, patch lives to keep moving forward, been in the center of black mold and dying,
...been in fire relief and salvage in Gatlinburg, TN...pulling objects from the ashes...always listening to stories of survival...from all of these adventures...
This frayed and faded brown towel is the only item I wanted of my Dad's when he passed away fifteen years ago. My Dad's happiest and best moods were when he was camping, in the mornings...he would come back from a shower and shaving with this towel around his neck...he would be humming, singing, or whistling tunes and his look on his face was joy. He would begin to prepare breakfast for everyone with great zeal. Bare chested and not self conscious...openly singing and whistling with unabashed joy.
Although I didn't get to share too many adventures together with this man when he was joyful, I imagined it would be so wonderful to go on an adventure together...explore new things, be full of wonder and bind together...to share time...to have him want to spend time with me...to want to spend meaningful time together and not have an agenda...just want to spend time with me for who I really was. I dreamed he would be proud.
After he passed and remnants of his life were gone I grabbed hold of the brown shaving towel. That towel has accompanied me on every adventure I've endeavored these past few years. When we moved 660,00 lbs. of rocks and cement, and built the school walls in Ecuador...he was there. Sweating together...we shared the exhaustion of happiness.
When we listened to Sheriff DiDeaux share his story of that wall of water coming in from Katrina and pulling bodies from the water, he was there...when we worked with the chainsaw gang (a team of twenty chainsawing and another 5 pushing, moving and clearing the debris that they would cut he was there....When we patched roofs with numerous blue tarps...climbing like a monkey from rooftop to rooftop...in the humid heat of the bayou he was there climbing with me. When I was climbing trees to cut off limbs ...he was there...and one day while climbing one of those trees I almost grabbed a live electric line adjacent to my arm...it was an accident and it happened fast...I wasn't thinking...it scared me..what was around my arm that grazed that wire.?..protecting me was that old brown towel.
When I staffed New Adam weekends and lived to see freedom dawning as the sunlight over the mist on the south Harpeth river...smoldering ashes from a once blazing bonfire ...as I named my heritage and claimed my new name...he was there as the sun beamed down on my face.
When my son Grant went with me to Gatlinburg for the fire salvage...he was there. I explained to my son--he (the towel) was captive--and had to accompany any adventures with me but that it had also protected me. It reminded me of all the gold moments I saw my Dad in...and by bringing it with me, I felt I was having him share in the gold of my life's adventures. How I wish we had made more adventures together while he was alive. My vow to myself was to share in these adventures with Grant to make things right...but I believe it is more to make things how I longed for them to be...to share adventure, to share the gold in life.
So the next time you see me on an adventure...I'll be the one with the gold...eh...brown towel...living the golden adventures of life. So much redeemed in the moments since he passed...I can see it clearly now. If you haven't had great moments with your Dad and he has since passed...grab a hold of anything that represents the good moments...share with him the man you have become...if he is still alive...make the moments count and ask for what you need while you can. Maybe you will get what you ask for...maybe you won't...the power is in the asking...and in the asking you are free from any regrets.
